I think I'm finally back! I know my loyal reader has missed me :) I'm not sure what kind of virus I caught but it did its best to take me out this past week. That's the last time I'm serving in the 1-2 yr old room at LifeKids! (Just kidding, Maggie!)
I can't tell you how much I'm ready for this sickness to disappear. Besides the usual sickness symptoms, coughing, congestion, stuffy head, etc., I've not had a good nights sleep in over a week. And if you know me, you know that I pride myself on being a good nighttime sleeper. Once my head hits the pillow I'm out in less than 2 minutes and nothing wakes me unless my dog, Sophie, sits on top of my head because its stormy outside and she's scared. However, I haven't gotten more than 4 hours of good sleep since a week ago Friday night. That's 9 days, friends. And do you want to know what the cherry on top is? That stupid devil decided now would be a great time to launch an attack. Really?! When I'm already sick AND sleep deprived?! Oh wait, if I was going to try to take out my own enemy then yes, sick and sleep deprived would probably seem like a prime opportunity.
So yesterday, that stupid devil got me when my defenses were down. In all actuality he's been trying the whole time I've been sick but I was just too busy coughing and too foggy from medicine for it to really register. Until yesterday. And then it was like a full force attack. And do you know what he did? He tricked me into letting the emotional overtake the spiritual. And boy did I.
Some of it started Sunday night in my quiet time. I didn't really "feel" like God was there with me. Then yesterday, that same feeling, that my telephone to Jesus was disconnected and He wasn't accepting my calls. Shoot, at one point I wasn't even sure I was calling the right number! I struggled to the point of tears because I felt like God had abandoned me. I didn't understand why the chapters I'd read in a new book didn't really resonate with me or why the message I'd listened to from church on Sunday didn't have a huge impact or why even in my quiet time it felt like I was doing all the talking and God wasn't even listening.
Then, as I was expressing my distress over the situation, my wise accountability partner told me that maybe I felt that way because God knows I don't always hear things as clearly when I'm sick. Hmm...something I hadn't thought about before. I mean, He does know me after all and I'm sure He knows how I quickly I fall apart when I'm not feeling well. And then later in evening, as things were deteriorating once again, that reminder that I'm sick, and lets not forget sleep deprived, so maybe not everything that I'm "feeling" at the moment is true.
As I thought about it, I remembered a sermon from Perry Noble that I listened to this past fall where he talked about Eve and how she gave in to the way she felt rather than the facts in God's word. She let the emotional overtake the spiritual. He stated that the challenge women have is to submit the emotional to the biblical, to submit how we feel to what God says. And bam! Just like that, my telephone to Jesus was up and running again. Not exactly how I expected it or what I wanted, but 100% what I needed. That gentle reminder that I can't allow my feelings to dictate what I know to be true. God hasn't left my side at any point during this past week. In fact, He never leaves me. And that telephone connection that I was worried about? Always completely intact.
Lord, help me to remember the truth in Your word over my fickle feelings. Especially when my defenses are weak, help me to submit the emotional to the biblical. Amen.
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