Embracing beloved

If I'm Your beloved, can You help me believe it?  
Tell me once again who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You, I belong to You
Remind Who I Am by Jason Gray

Recently in my quiet times with the Lord, the word beloved keeps coming up.  At first I tried to just sweep it under the rug because honestly I'm not a huge fan of that word.  It seems so old, outdated and formal.  How often do you hear people using the word beloved nowadays?  I also equate it with Song of Solomon from the Bible so for me, its always had a more romantic feel to it.  Needless to say, when I've felt Jesus speaking that word to me, calling me beloved, I've not really allowed it to mean much.  Until about two weeks ago. 

Two weeks ago I once again heard those same familiar words: There is nothing wrong with you, Lindsey.  Nothing.  You are my masterpiece, created with a specific and wonderful purpose.  You are not who others have said you are.  You are who I say you are.  Beloved.  Daughter.  Precious.  Beautiful.  Worthy.  Mine.  Then I felt God lead me to look up beloved on my Youversion app and it brought me to Deut. 33:12 from the Message translation: God's beloved; God's permanent residence.  Encircled by God all day long, within whom God is at home.  Then I felt God lead me to look up beloved in the dictionary and it said this: dearly loved, valued, treasured, cherished, precious.  Wow. 


I feel like God has been desperately trying to get me to open up my heart to His love for me in the last six months.  Looking back through my prayer journals I can see that He is constantly telling me how much He loves me and how He sees me.  But I just can't seem to completely get it through my wounded and protected heart.  It's hard for me to believe that God could truly love me when I've struggled with feeling unwanted and unloved for most of my life.  I hear His words but I don't really allow them in and allow them to fill those hurt and empty places in my heart.  But God, He never gives up.  He never stops chasing after me or pursuing me or telling me who I am to Him.  I am God's beloved.  His dearly loved, treasured, and cherished child.  His permanent residence where He is at home.