Have you ever stepped back to look at who you are now and wonder when you changed? Wonder how the gradual evolution of your being, your personality, your likes and dislikes, have grown and made you into a different person? That's what I have been reflecting on recently. God has slowly and gradually and ever so subtly changed me. A prime example is that I can now enjoy nature. I've never been a huge nature fan but over the past couple years I've really begun to appreciate the beauty of it. I'm not ready to pack up for a camping trip anytime soon, but I can't explain how much I enjoy watching the sunset and clouds now. I could stare at a magnificent sunset and the colors it paints across the sky for hours if possible. I love to go for a drive and chase it as far as I can before darkness settles in. I see God's creation and imagination and I am in awe of it all. I've recently started walking by the lake and I love to watch the sun set over the water and slide behind the trees as night falls. Beauty. Perfection. Peace.
God has me on this health journey this year and it, too, is changing me. Learning self-discipline, self-control, sacrifice. Giving up what I want now (anything super tasty but bad for me) for what I want more (to be healthy and physically capable of more). And can I tell you that it. is. hard. Absolutely nothing easy about these changes but God is getting me through them. He's also teaching me patience and about sowing seed that will later produce a harvest. And obedience. Oh, how I can struggle with the obedience part.
I have hit a plateau of sorts and am struggling to not give up and go back to my old ways. And this morning, I was reminded that I am called to be obedient in this health journey. When I don't see results as quickly as I want, because let's be real-I want to eat a salad and lose 10 pounds, or walk 2 miles and lose 20, I need to stay obedient. When I feel like giving up because it's hard, I need to stay obedient. When I'm tempted to listen to my taste buds and eat things full of sugary goodness but will leave me feeling terrible later, I need to stay obedient. And this morning as I read my Bible and prayed I was reminded that even if I never lose any more weight at all, I still need to stay obedient to what God has called me to do. Um, excuse me, Jesus? Did I hear that right? Even if I never lose one more pound and stay at this weight forever, you still want me to eat better and exercise and take care of my body? Yep. Because I'm being obedient to His call to stay on this health journey. Now I'm not saying that is what will happen because I truly believe that God wants to do some amazing work through this health journey, but this morning I was reminded that it's not about results. It's about obedience.